Joe Allison Movie Slush

Starring Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Alan Arkin, and Steve Zahn. Very well written by Megan Holley.

Rose Lorkowski (Adams) used to be the cheerleading captain. Now she cleans houses. On the advice of her lover, she starts an independent crime scene cleanup business with her sister Norah (Blunt). To be clear, they have no idea what they’re doing. Or how to do it right. They’re the first ones in after the cops at suicide scenes. The guy selling them cleaning supplies has one arm. Life generally happens to them.

Starring a bunch of unknowns. Directed by an unknown. WHAT THE CRAP???

Starring Jeremy Piven, Ving Rhames, James Brolin, David Koechner, and Kathryn Hahn

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, and the rest of the cast you’ve come to expect from the Potter movies.

Starring Megan Fox. Shia LeBouf and the rest of the crew might also have been in it, but I must have missed them. Directed by Michael Bay, whose films are hard to miss because the explosions show up in outer space.

The Autobots are teamed up with our government, running around the globe hunting down Decepticon scum. After yet another crunch fest, government officials are beginning to get skeptical about who, exactly, needs protecting.

Starring Bradley Cooper (hippie friend from “Failure to Launch”), Ed Helms, Zach Galifianiakaliziahcks, Justin Bartha (“National Treasure”, other friend from “Failure to Launch”) and Heather Graham (Rollergirl).

Starring Alison Lohman (the girl from White Oleander) and Justin Long (the guy with a growing list of credits). Directed by Sam Raimi. Written by Sam & Ivan Raimi.

Sweet, innocent, meek Christine (Lohman). All she wants is to get that big promotion at the bank. Her boss (the world’s greatest on-screen sniveler, David Paymer) wants nothing more than to pit her against her ruthless, brown nosing coworker. Christine, not realizng that she’s in an old school, Raimi doing what he does best, comedy horror movie, wants to impress the boss.

Starring Will Ferrell, Anna Friel, and Danny McBride

Some of you, I’m sure, have fond memories of “Land of the Lost” reruns. Cheesy animated tyrannosaurus. Seedy Sleestaks. The crazy monkey kid with the huge, jutting forehead.

OK, stop reminiscing.

Review coming up on a hot plate. Sooner or later.

A-

Starring Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson and Robert Downey, Jr. Directed by Zack Snyder. Adapted from the graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon. But you probably already knew that.